I have always known I am an emotional eater. I can look back at almost every happy or bad night and remember what I was eating. Lately, it has gotten really bad to a point where the moment I feel bad, I immediately seek comfort in food. Other people have noticed my habits as well, which makes me embarrassed. What really bothers me is being defined by my eating habits, not just my weight but how I interact around food.

I notice two types of people. The ones who know I am fat and are vocal about it. They aren’t rude but they make comments about losing a few pounds or doing some extra work outs. Then you have the timid people. They hide food around you and never invite you to lunch. Either way, it is very passive aggressive but it is awkward. I do not need to eat big portions, I cannot handle buffets, a foot long is too much and I hate nachos. You can mention food and weight loss and I will not freak out. In fact, the passive aggressive behavior is even more discouraging. I need support not little post it notes of inspiration.

I wonder if I should try some over eaters anonymous group. I don’t over eat but when I get emotional, I start to binge. Maybe I need some depression group instead? I could go on but I won’t. I just need to get myself right. Eating one meal at a time and thinking about food all the time.